The greatest gift of a parent to their children is to live their life well.
"From the beginning, the mother was martyred in the name of the child. We lived as if she, who disappeared the most, loved the most. We have become accustomed to proving our love by slowly ceasing to exist.
What a terrible burden children have to bear - to know that they are the reason their mothers stopped living. What a terrible burden our daughters have to bear - know that if they choose to become mothers, it is their fate too. Because if we show them that being a martyr is the highest form of love, they will be. After all, they will feel obligated to love as their mother loved. They will believe that they have the right to live as fully as their mothers allow them.
If we continue to pass on the legacy of martyrdom to our daughters, who will it end with? Which woman will survive? When will executions begin? At a wedding reception? In the delivery room? Whose maternity ward - our child's or our own? When we call it martyrdom love, we teach our children that when love begins, life ends. That's why Jung suggested: There is no greater burden for a child than a life the parents have not lived. "
Thanks Glennon and Ellen who teach us that Love Self starts from Trust: trust our intuition, to trust our emotions, feelings as information and GPS as where we need to go and what we need to change , to trust our imagination as a blueprint of our life, Love self starts TRUST.
聆聽我們的情緒，我們的感覺：作為信息，我們的 GPS...☝️ 細節就像我喜歡說的一樣：善解人意，對自己富有同情心，讓我們對他人富有同情心
Learnings notes and my reflections:
1 Get lost?
Try to find who you are and what you really need.
2 How to move on when you lost your loved one?
That Grief is like a stone, it will be there, let it be there and you will make your life different with it, either better self or worse. up to your own choice. Grief is a gift to your life, a big transformation when you move for better self.
Anything devastating you changes you
Hopefully it is a learning experiences to change you for better
When you have a broken heart, you cracks let light in to your heart
Let's light in, don't put on a wall around your heart.
3 Let go of our control to our kids and our kids will lead their way
To honor our kids we raised and
Trust our kids, their will lead your way.
Honor as verb:
to regard or treat (someone) with admiration and respect to regard or treat with honor
Our parents try to control our kids, worry too much, project their expectations and fears on our kids. That is not LOVE.
4 How to start self love, where we start?
Story from Glennon on her control to her husband:
When we ask our spouse to do this or that, don't do this or that, we are controlling people, making them feel we don't trust them, let them feel inferior. Kids get the same feelings as well.
It strikes me that i made similar mistakes and my son said i made him feel like a kid ( asking him to sleep early or take clothes...), when I feel I don't just care him. And he would say mind your own business and u also need to tale care of yourself...
We can either love them or control them.
Same thing to ourselves: we go back to our inner self, to trust our intuition, to trust our emotions, feelings as information and GPS as where we need to go, to trust our imagination as a blueprint of our life, as a pipe drain. Love self starts TRUST.
悲傷就像一塊石頭，它會在那裡，讓它在那裡，你會讓你的生活變得不同，要么更好，要么更糟。取決於你自己的選擇。 Grief 是給您生活的禮物，是您為更好的自己而行動時的一次重大轉變。
對我們自己也是一樣：我們回到我們的內心，相信我們的直覺，相信我們的情緒、感覺作為信息和 GPS 作為我們需要去的地方，相信我們的想像力作為我們生活的藍圖，愛自我開始信任。
聆聽我們的情緒，我們的感覺：作為信息，我們的 GPS... 細節就像我喜歡說的一樣：善解人意，對自己富有同情心，也讓我們對他人富有同情心
18 4 2022
Glennon Doyle > Quotes