Thursday, November 28, 2019

Dream Big - Sharing with Pheabe

和好朋友,好拍檔Pheabe聚一聚,總是有說不完的話題。


我們分享對於當前的局勢看法,大家都不約而同認為做好自己,身心安頓最重要。
正如一行禪師說的: Peace the one, Peace the world. 一人平靜,大家平靜,世界和平。

談到婚姻關係,日本的一个调查,离婚率最高的是退休夫妇一族。

Pheabe說,來到退休年紀的夫婦,不少家庭,婚姻關係會變得很緊張,常常因为小事而大吵大闹,同一屋檐下,仿佛却如陌生人,虽然没有分开,但大家都活得不开心,如同困斗兽的牢笼。

我很認同,自己也是過來人,先生退休十年了,每天都是學習接納對方,接納自己;
以前总是期望对方做出改变,现在,不再改變對方,而是修心自己,適應大家都在不斷變化的身體和心理,从中培养慈悲和包容心,一起成長。

這句話,我們很喜歡:



想起這篇文章,十年前寫出來,激勵自己:


I’ve come to understand that marriage is sharing, forgiving and growing with someone in the long run. When the dizzy passion and excitement fade, continue to treat your partner like your boyfriend or girlfriend instead of taking each other for granted. Valuing each other with respect and appreciation rather than just picking his/her up on daily mistakes. Seek comfort, reassurance. Laugh about something that didn’t go too well. All of these enable us to overcome adversity and make it possible for the relationship to grow organically.


The Journey of Marriage

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2018/12/the-journey-of-marriage.html

想起这首歌:陪伴你走:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwjOda4B5F8&list=RDPIJEqSxH1rs&index=6


想起兩年前在我的解夢課程中,我和幾對couples 做個性、價值觀的“對猜遊戲”,很多非常有趣的發現;非常好玩,很多預計不到的surprise, “原來我在對方心裡,是這樣的美”,看到自己看不到的美麗和特質,還有缺點,雙方都增進了了解,感情得到昇華。

渴望有機會合作。更多愛的流動,愛是家庭的滋潤劑。

講到開拓身心靈的工作,我為Pheabe 那種dream big,敢想敢幹的passion 所感動。

Pheabe 構思出一本50後的書,集合50位朋友,每一位都帶出自己前半是怎樣走過來,後半生將如何走下去的故事,我非常讚👍同。

相信每個人的生命故事,都可以感動自己,感動更多人。帶來啟示和激勵。

現在,Pheabe已經開始自己一系列的工作坊。為好朋友的夢想成真喝采。 👍👍
回想大家一起走過來的發夢、創夢的日子,學到好多東西。今後,我們還有很多想起去探索,盡情去發夢,創夢! 🌈🌈

生命就是探索,學習,過程更重要
大家都有一顆❤,讓愛在更多的家庭流動。

287 11 2019



孩子想自殺怎麼辦?

劉仁州
Yesterday at 8:49 AM
孩子想自殺怎麼辦?

(海靈格夫婦家排個案分享)

一位母親上臺,無力地流著眼淚說自己的20歲的兒子這幾天每天淩晨給她發短信,說自己不想活了想去死。

說完這些母親垂著頭哀哀地流淚哭泣,海靈格以出人意料的力氣抱住案主的臉,將她的臉轉向自己,讓她的眼睛看著自己的眼睛。他們倆對視了很長時間,案主突然痛哭流涕,海靈格抱著她的頭放在自己的右肩上,讓她在自己的肩膀上哭了很久。那個場面非常的感人。

案主哭夠了,抬起身來又轉向自己的右邊,想抱住索菲(海靈格夫人)繼續哭,索菲卻堅定地推開了她。按住他的雙肩,讓她用眼睛看著自己的眼睛,在確認案主的兒子已經20歲後,索菲用有力而堅定的眼神看著對方,叮囑道:你回去之後要像我這樣用這樣的眼神看著你的兒子,怕對方沒聽清楚,索菲又說了一遍:我現在就是你,你現在就是你的兒子,回去之後你要用這種眼神看著兒子然後說話:

「孩子我給了你生命,我給了你我所有能給的,我也給你自由,你可以選擇你自己想做的。你可以選擇保留我給你的生命,那樣我會很高興,你可以選擇放棄我給你的生命,雖然那樣我會很傷心。可是我還是給你自由,你可以自由選擇。」

案主聽著索菲這樣說這樣看,身體慢慢地坐直了,眼睛裡流露出堅定有力的眼神。整個人發生了非常大的變化。全部個案結束之後,案主給所有的人一一鞠躬,然後邁著堅定的步伐走迴座位上,跟上臺之前的虛弱完全不同。

摘自~心燈 心靈成長

28 11 2019

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Use INNER GUIDE to Solve Emotional Issue

28 8 2013

This is the second time to use INNER GUIDE and inner child concept to deal with the issue of our damaged car.

Just days ago, whenever the BMW appeared in my mind, my eyes would fill with tears. It has been with us for six years with lots of fun, joy and so much learning. The more I drove it, the more I loved it. 

But inside my sorrow, I could see my connection to the car is a symbol of a love and deep concern of my family.

I know INNER GUIDE can help me to face my sadness and grief towards it.

After falling into trance of self-hypnosis, I felt my INNER GOLDEN SHADOW - the GREAT MOTHERS - MS Louise Hey appeared in front of me. She was smiling to me, holding my hands. Suddenly a surge of warm current flowed into my head down through my body and limbs.

What did Ms Louise Hey said to me? 

She said:

Sometimes a tragedy on surface can turn out to be a beautiful, momentous event in life. 

I think so. But how? 

She said first, accept the fact, no matter whatever the reason was.
Acceptance is a great power one has to build. If you don’t have the power of acceptance then you will not be able to be in tune with life. You will be in conflict with life.

Second, forgive the driver. There must be a reason for the incident. Give him time to reflect, to be aware of his inner shadow. There are lots of struggles and pain when facing one’s vulnerability. All we need to give him is love and care, treating him as an inner child of yourself, giving him confidence and support. That is enough.

Third, express your direct feeling without emotion and show your empathy to his suffering. 

I realized that if I don't forgive him, I cannot forgive myself. I am hurting myself. That is stupid! The only way to stop hurting myself is to forgive him, to take care of his emotion in more compassionate way.

Through this process, I was relieved a lot. The strong self can only be built when facing our own vulnerability. From type A to H, here I found the key.

Then, it comes to Acceptance, Action and Appreciation (3A from DP) that helped me to further delete negative emotions and be more aware of my own shadow, as well as the valuable resources in my subconscious mind.

Now what I need to improve most is to cultivate myself with more compassion and forgiving mindset  Then I can be wise/tough enough to face daily challenges and empower myself and others to live at CAUSE. 

The gift that I received from the hypnotic inner guide process is -

Emotion is a signal from our subconscious mind that tries to push us to take care of it, face it, solve it and let it go so that we can  MOVE FORWARD. 

Dear Ms Louise Hay, you say to us in the book: 

"You can heal your life". 

I couldn't agree more.

Everyone has an ability to solve their problems once they face their inner selves. 

Everyone can be their best healer, best coach. 


Yes, I can! 


28-8-2013










A letter to My Son about Self affirmation

Gene,

I am reading this book and meanwhile watching her videos. This book is helping us to live at cause and live a life with fulfillment.



Thoughts create our Future - Louise L.Hay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=2_qyja69orQ&NR=1

What I learned is every time we say something, we are painting our future, Be aware of what we think subconsciously (by forming a habit) Ask ourselves periodically "Would I like this thought to be my future? would I like this experience to go with me in my rest of my life?"  

Positive thinking means creating beautiful future. This can be formed by doing affirmation - repeat positive words by WRITING on a paper, blogging or just saying it best in front of a mirror or by meditation.

For example, say "I love you, I really love you" in the morning and before sleep. That would be powerful like planting seeds and expecting them to grow with right conditions. Then the universe will give you green light every day in your life when saying positive words deliberately.

Affirmations For The Inner Child -  to healing the inner child

•        All is well. The present is great and the future is bright.

•        Life is full of joy. I release the past and live only in the present.

•        My wounds are now healed. I look forward to a rich and fulfilling life.

•        Today is the best of my life and everyday is a new today.

•        I am the center of my universe. Everybody loves and appreciates me and I reciprocate.

•        ________ (your name here) I love you, I care about you and I accept you as you are.

•        ________ (your name here) I am proud of you and all that you are.

•        ________ (your name here), you are free to make your own choices. Live your own life.

•        ________ (your name here), you are beautiful and attractive. Everybody loves you.

•        The child in me is very much alive. It is a happy, joyous and fun loving child.

•        I have forgotten the sad past. I live in the happy present and a still happier future awaits me.

•        The child in me and I are one. We love each other, care for each other, appreciate each other and will always belong to each other.



July 13, 2013

Updated on Nov. 20 2019

Mom

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

提升令自己快樂的能力

常常思考如何令自己快樂,常常問我自己一些問題,這裡分享點滴,和大家探索,學習,和大家共勉







Reference

Forgiveness

回歸心身安頓,重獲心靈自由

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2016/11/blog-post_60.html

其中讓自己快樂的方法,就是寬恕原諒。如果我們還有什麼放不下,想起來都有憤怒或心痛,心碎的感覺,以下是我的Forgiving process by Hypnotherapy. 你可以隨時隨地,安靜自己,聽一聽,多聽幾次,你會舒服好多,平靜好多,因為你開始明白,寬恕原諒不是認同錯誤,而是給自己機會,給別人機會,走出牢籠。寬恕原諒,完全是為了愛自己,讓自己的身心安頓,為自己心理和身體健康負責任。

Forgiveness process by Donna's hypnotherapy
https://www.facebook.com/donnawinter2000/posts/10215591312921380

如何真正做到寬恕原諒?
 How to truly forgive?
https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2018/03/how-to-truly-forgive.html

天堂小屋電影工作坊 - Forgiveness Journey
https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2018/02/forgiveness-journey.html

The Power of Forgiveness 寬恕原諒的力量
https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2016/08/the-power-of-forgiveness.html

Humor:
How to Humor Your Stress | Loretta LaRoche | TEDxNewBedford
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZMJdhe4xhQ

Gratitude:

A moving story about Gratitude
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tznztJVsW9E

感恩的力量

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2019/02/blog-post_65.html

Zero Limits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=7Qoq75-DQm4&feature=emb_logo

如何走出憂悶,走出低迷

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2019/09/blog-post_17.html

Let Go Limited Belief

How To Quickly Discover & Erase Negative Beliefs That Sabotage Your Success

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rVLM21qH9Y&list=PL2jpq1jOdEv9ycL3HxcHhIwBVS-PYoJML

How to Humor Your Stress | Loretta LaRoche | TEDxNewBedford

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZMJdhe4xhQ



The Journey of Marriage


I’ve come to understand that marriage is to Seek comfort, reassurance. Laugh about something that didn’t go too well. All of these enable us to overcome adversity and make it possible for the relationship to grow organically.

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2018/12/the-journey-of-marriage.html

26 11 2019

童年陰影催眠治療



無論在夢境治療或情緒輔導中,我常常用童年陰影催眠治療:
其中一個therapy 是通過催眠過程,帶回個案進入自己的內在小孩的狀態,讓自己去擁抱受傷的小孩,去聆聽它的哭泣,聆聽它的訴求,然後擁抱它,給它足夠的、曾經失去的愛和保護,讓自己成為它的父母。一個接受自己內在小孩,建立內在父母的過程。













26 11 2019

You Can Heal Your Life

Louise Hay 於2017年9月與世長辭,終年90


8年前讀她的書 -"You Can Heal Your Life ",就愛不釋手。

她的一席話,一直deeply imprint in my heart. 寫完這本書, 她說:

"接下來我想教導的主題是:如何讓死亡成為充滿喜悅的體驗。我們對死亡懷有太多負面的想法,然而死亡是一種很正常、很自然的過程。有生就有死,那麼我們為何如此害怕死亡,對出生卻毫無畏懼?我現在覺得,只要學會活出喜悅的人生,自然也會有一個充滿喜悅的死亡。我想,我得讓大家了解這種告別人間的方式會是什麼樣子。我會繼續探索這個部分,並與大家分享我的發現。

生命是美好的。 "

她的生命導師生涯,一直到生命最後日子。

她用生命體驗告訴我們,生命導師需要用自己的實踐,去證明,我們每個人,都可以擁有一個完整圓滿的人生。

如何從受害者心態變成生命就是體驗和不斷自我圓滿,生命就是學習和成長,一切都是美好的
Louise L Hay said,


再來讀這本書,英文是 You can Heal Yourself , 仍然覺得好震撼,好有說服力
All is well.

This belief is crucial to turn victim belief to more realistic, more objective, optimistic positive beliefs









https://www.facebook.com/donnawinter2000/posts/10215584494910934
https://www.facebook.com/donnawinter2000/posts/10215584329586801
https://www.facebook.com/donnawinter2000/posts/10215584381668103


Monday, November 25, 2019

爸爸离开我们两周年的日子



今天是爸爸离开我们的两周年。

2017年11月25日,爸爸與世長辭。

那是一个沉痛的日子,也是我们家人心连心,一起度过,一起成长的日子。


妈妈昨天写道:


缅怀黄汉仁  24 11 2019

今天2019-11-25是黄汉仁教授仙逝两周年的日子,由于他不敌病魔-肺纤维化这种不治之症,与我们永别了。这是我和家人最悲傷的日子。就在他离世的第二天,黄林基教授等提议我们建立一个微信群组,便于大家悼念。当时儿子黄庆立即建立了“黄汉仁追思群”。于是,海内外亲朋好友、几所石油大学和香港一些机构团体在赠送花圈的同时,纷纷发哀悼信到这个群里,沉痛悼唁黄汉仁,并诚挚关怀我及家人。条条微信都给我们极大的安慰和鼓励,使我们较快地接受现实,走出悲痛与忧伤。在此,由衷感谢群友们对我们的关怀和支持。

现在这个群组成了我们交流咨询、分享正能量、相互关怀、联络感情的平台。虽然我们分散在五湖四海,天各一方,但大家随时可以见面、聊天,非常亲切。希望我们这个群组能长长久久保持下去。黄汉仁在天之灵也会为我们在网上天天相聚开心不已。

黄汉仁已离世两年整,我和孩子们总觉得他还在我们身边。他的座右铭 “诚实、积极、创新” 永远激励着我们。当我遇到困难和挫折时,就会想到他劝导我的话:“天塌下来当被盖“,“用发愁的时间去想办法解决难题“。

为了纪念他,我们为他立了两个墓碑:




我的分享:

🙏🙏🙏感謝老師們,叔叔和阿姨們,當年成長的小朋友們
這兩年來,在黃漢仁追思群的相聚。

👍👍每天,我們都可以在這個組裡看到很多有關心理健康和身體健康的知識,還有好多感人的生命故事,各種資訊。令它成為身心健康的一個平台。互相支持和分享的平台。

相信爸爸在天堂也會感受到大家的愛和正能量,爸爸也和我們一起同行,被溫馨擁抱。他在天堂,都會感恩微笑😄。

😀真的很奇妙,雖然爸爸身體已經離開我們,但他的笑容和精神,卻每天都陪伴著我們家人,不論是晴天還是雨天,不論路途有多少高高低低,真的從沒有離開過我們。

對我來說,經歷了生離死別,親人的生老病死,最大的成長,是開始感悟生命的意義,感悟死亡的意義。

生命可以是死的,如果心靈已經枯死;
而死亡也可以是有生命力的,
如果先人的精神常常激勵人們,
活得有創意,有意義。

💗當離開的人常常被人們懷念,
他們就用另一種方​​式,
永遠活在人們的心中,
活在家人的心中。

🌈🌈我開始認識到生死教育的重要性,這兩年多,用不同方式,搞生命教育: 電影分享會,生命故事的敘事治療,夢境治療,幫助人們,走出對疾病和死亡的恐懼,走出哀傷和憂鬱,學習活得坦蕩和輕鬆些。對我自己,也是一次次的生命教育和成長。

💓把愛親人的心,去愛身邊的人,
把親人給我們的愛,銘記心裡,
傳給更多人,以生命影響生命,
透過我們,延續親人的生命。

🙏🙏感恩每一天,我們可以在這里相聚。

冬冬上


Reference:

In Father's Special Days

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2019/10/blog-post_14.html

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2017/11/blog-post_29.html

永遠的陪伴 - My speech on the memorial ceremony of my dad


https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2019/01/blog-post_8.html

笑看生死,拥抱生命 《感悟生命》工作坊总结与反思 ( 2019 1 6,7,8)


Dear Dad at the 2nd Father's day ...with songs 

M Letter to dad  16 6 2019


2019 11 22

如何不做受害者

带着沉重的心情,走出戏院。

电影探索深刻的夫妻关系,最后走上分手的悲剧,即使的到Nobel price若贝尔奖。

“The Wife”,一部 爱恨交织,爱之深,恨之深的电影。

电影很有爆炸性,刻画出夫妻关系的多重性质

太太的角色:是照顾者,也是KING MAKER。

主角强调自己不要做受害者,但最后还是成为受害者,每个人都成为受害者。

好多提醒:

生命每一步都是自己的选择,你为什么要嫁给他?Why did you marry me? Right, 回归到爱的主题!为自己的生命负责任!

电影令我更加明白:父母虽然住在一起,但貌神不和,对于子女是伤害!因为没有爱的存在,家庭没有爱的流动!

父母互相尊重,认同和支持,时刻反省自己,提升自己的心理质素,是最好的身教,给予孩子最好的礼物。

和妈妈一起去看这部电影,领悟什么是慈悲和大爱,学习感受别人的感受,增进同理心!

妈妈感受到作为太太的自己也是丈夫背后最大的支持者和伙伴,需要得到认同和尊敬。她感恩丈夫对她的认同,虽然有时爸爸也做的不够的时候,但她原谅爸爸,爸爸也道歉。

我感恩父母在这方面给我做了榜样,他们不会避忌矛盾,每次argument,都是一次沟通的机会,深度了解对方,接纳对方,而不是尝试改变对方,让我看到,夫妻之道,沟通之道。越多沟通,深度的沟通,多些寻找对方的美丽,而不是针对弱点,看到别人的爱,才能感受到爱。

好朋友的丈夫脾氣暴躁,起初以為工作壓力大,但退休後情況反而更加惡劣,事無大小,只要和他自己的意願不相同,或遇到任何不可預料的情況,都會向太太發脾氣,孩子也活在驚恐中。經歷了幾十年的婚姻,好朋友仍然在摸索如何與丈夫相處。
我告訴她,先生有他自己成長的經歷,性格,成為這樣的情況,相信他自己也不想,或不以為是問題。與其改變別人,不如改變自己:重要的是如何保護自己,不被受傷害,不玩Victim Game。這是不容易的,但也是最需要的,我也在學習。

學習同理別人,明白別人的歷史,情緒背後的故事,也許可以令自己也平靜一些,不做情緒的奴隸。




父母关系,孩子的命运

陳榮榮老師|「身心與健康」•家族/組織系統排列工作坊/ 3-4•香港

我的感受和學習 (Part 5 )

一位个案,爸爸有两个老婆,一个在大陆,一个在香港。爸爸和香港的老婆,也就是个案的妈妈关系很不好,但对个案不错。

因为家庭中父母之间的鸿沟,孩子虽有爸爸的爱,妈妈的爱爱,还是很失落。

孩子一直不敢对爸爸有愤怒,虽然他伤害了两个女人。孩子是堕胎后不能再堕胎了才被逼生下她,所以,她感到不是父母想要的。

压抑的愤怒,突然爆发,很是痛苦。大哭。

因为父母之间的愤怒,导致自己被伤害,所以很怕愤怒,怕自己的愤怒也伤害别人。

老师说:

憤怒不是壞事,愤怒也是力量。

感受自己的情緒,不要壓抑它,去理解它,化憤怒為智慧,為力量。為自己的生命負責任

爱的深,恨之切

對於受傷的孩子,不要扛起父母的责任,父母的关系不和,是他们自己的事。把父母的心結還給父母,活出自己。

这也是一种能力。放下不属于自己的责任

提醒我:

不要在孩子面前说丈夫或太太的不是,坏话,这样是直接伤害孩子的心,令他们没有安全感。

父母的关系,直接影响孩子的个性。孩子的人格和命运。

父母好好爱自己,搞好自己的关系,就是给与孩子最大的爱。

成年的孩子,尝试整合父母好的和怀的部分,保留和继承好的,断绝坏的,不要在自己一代继续

当我们越是恨一个人,我们就越会成为那个憎恨的部。


we become what we resist





What are you Resisting in your Life?
Posted December 1, 2015 by Meghan Toups

Carl Jung so aptly wrote, “What you resist, persists.”
When we begin to understand personal patterns, and bring into our awareness that which does not serve us, we can begin to shift our lives. Don’t ignore those negative coping mechanisms. They are there for a reason. What’s the underlying reason? What are they masking? Don’t resist thinking of them. Bring awareness, with gentle self compassion. Then create a plan for making a change.

And the journey to your own personal Shift in consciousness unfolds.

What are you resisting in your life? What makes you upset if you are to think of them?

Depression? Anxiety? Poor eating habits? An unhealthy relationship? Low self-esteem?

What if you were to take a look at these things. It’s scary to look at the shadows of our life. Enlist the support of a guide, a therapist or coach to help you get through them. Stop resisting them. They are in your life for a reason. Our shadows are simply a language of the body. Masking something for you to look more deeply upon. To uncover a deeper part of your life. Are you eating poorly because you are working too hard at a job that doesn’t fulfill you? Are you in an unhealthy relationship because you don’t feel like you deserve to be truly loved? What is the deeper part of your shadow? Don’t resist. Gently move forward to create a Shift and redefine your life.

Love, Light and good Health,