Friday, January 15, 2021
What I learnt from family therapy
Parents are the first and most important teachers, coaches, leaders to children. Their behavior and belief and emotion will play significant impact on children character development.
Children’s character is a combination of their inborn character, experiences with their parents, siblings and important people around.
Trying to understand our parents and grandparents better is a channel to understand ourselves better and a way to build a positive self-esteem, trust, love, and good relationship with people not just family but anyone.
From my own growing up experiences, I found parents’ love, trust and support is much more important than just giving us physical security and satisfaction.
Parents who give children a free hand on one side and give love, support and trust on the other hand is the best parents in the world. Children really don’t need over-protection but heart-to-heart communication and companion. Being their friends rather than a ruler, controller. This will make family life will be much easier and happier.
If parents’ growing up experiences are not pleasant or full of trauma, if they don’t know how to deal with their own issues/inner self, their children will also become their victims as parents’ hatred and emotion usually directly cast to their own spouses, or children, causing childhood trauma and shadows. An unhappy childhood leads to unhappy personality and takes time to heal.
The purpose of family therapy is to understand, accept others and ourselves, , learning from our parents, forgiving them and selves, so that we can build our inner parents. to truly take responsibility of our selves, truly love ourselves first, and move forward.
My article in INNER CHILD THERAPY
The last Letter - 最後的情書