Friday, February 10, 2017

重温 STILL ALICE - 《我想念我自己》


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeRHNOm-9rY

                                  STILL ALICE - 永远的爱丽丝 - 原著 《我想念我自己》

为準備在老人中心搞工作坊,兩年前的電影,今天再次重溫,倍感親切。语言学家,教授Alice剛剛過了五十歲生日,人生最精彩的时候,发现自己患有遺傳性,早發性腦退化症,事業正處于高峰,卻發現自己有時不知自己身處何方,上課不記得自己下句要講什麽,有時不記得最簡單的單字,慢慢,連自己的名字,生日也忘記了,最後自己是誰也忘掉…

爸爸這一年的大腦退化開始嚴重,疾病無情的拿走他的健康,也慢慢拿走他的記憶。

但無論爸爸變化怎樣,都是我心中最愛的那個爸爸,依然那個可愛的,“沒有什麼事” ,“什麼都不要緊“ 的爸爸。我和家人,陪伴他一起去適應,學習如何減慢退化!面對挑戰!

爸爸的變化和Alice的生命故事,教我學習面對失去的正面態度,失去的藝術。 The ART of LOSING

面對生命不能自己控制的事情,就要接受和學習適應。適應變化,這是最重要的survival skill
生命中可以控制的,是我們自己情緒和態度。也決定我們的心理質素,身體適應能力和恢復能力。

生命短暫,也可以很美麗,就像是蝴蝶,不是悲哀。接受生命中的一切挑戰,接受生命中不可控制的事情, 過去的光輝和幸福,仍然屬于自己,不因爲身體變化被抹殺;但抱著過去的光輝不放手,悲哀自己的失去,继而折磨今天的自己,影響今天的情绪和幸福。

My Chinese translation of the speech:

詩人伊麗莎白Bishoponce寫道:“失去的藝術不難掌握:許多事情彷彿蘊藏了失去的意圖,它們的失去不是災難。

我不是一個詩人,我是一個生活在早發性腦退化症的病人,作為這種人,我發現自己每天都在學習失去的藝術。失去方向感,失去的物件,失去睡眠,但重要的,失去記憶力...

我的一生不斷累積記憶 - 他們儼然成為,我生命中最珍貴的財產。我遇到了我的丈夫的那晚,我第一次把我寫的教科書拿在手裡。生兒育女,結交朋友,環遊世界。

我在生命積累的一切,我如此努力經營的一切 - 這些林林總總,現在都被剝奪去了。
你可以想像,或者你知道,我正處在地獄。但它正在變得更糟。

當我們離​​我們曾經那麼遠時,但我們已經今昔菲比,誰能認真對待我們?我們奇怪的行為和笨拙的句子,口吃,改變了別人對我們的的看法,也改變了我們對自己的看法中。

我們變得可笑,無能。滑稽。但這並非我們,這是我們的疾病。和任何疾病一樣,有它的原因,變化,還有根治的機會。

我最大的願望是,我的孩子,我們的孩子 - 下一代 - 不必面對我面對一切。但目前為止,我還活著。我有我愛的人。要做的事情與我的生活。

我恨我不能記住事情,但我也有開心喜悅時刻。

請不要以為我很在受苦。我在努力。努力成為周圍的一部分,和從前的我保持連接。活到這刻,我告訴自己,事實上,我唯一能做到的,就是活在這刻。

我不會對自己太苛刻,不會逼自己一定要掌握失去的藝術。

有一件事我要盡力記住的是我在這里和你們的分享:

它會消失,我知道它會消失。它可能明天就消失。但是,今天的演講對我意義重大!今天的演講,就像是我以前如此雄心勃勃的對與人溝通的著迷。

“我的昨天在消失了,我的明天不确定,我為每一天而活了。我活在這一刻。我會忘記我站在你面前,並發表演講。但因為我明天會忘記一些,並不意味著我今天不可以活在當下。我今天也會忘記一些,但這並不意味著今天對我不重要。

“我的昨天消失了,我的明天是不確定的,我可以做的,就是活在這一刻。

謝謝給我這個機會。就對我意的重大!謝謝。

English:


Dr. Alice Howland: Good morning. It's an honor to be here. The poet Elizabeth Bishoponce wrote: 'the Art of Losing isn't hard to master: so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.' I'm not a poet, I am a person living with Early Onset Alzheimer's, and as that person I find myself learning the art of losing every day. Losing my bearings, losing objects, losing sleep, but mostly losing memories...
[she knocks the pages from the podium]
Dr. Alice Howland: I think I'll try to forget that just happened.
[crowd laughs]
Dr. Alice Howland: All my life I've accumulated memories - they've become, in a way, my most precious possessions. The night I met my husband, the first time I held my textbook in my hands. Having children, making friends, traveling the world. Everything I accumulated in life, everything I've worked so hard for - now all that is being ripped away. As you can imagine, or as you know, this is hell. But it gets worse. Who can take us seriously when we are so far from who we once were? Our strange behavior and fumbled sentences change other's perception of us and our perception of ourselves. We become ridiculous, incapable, comic. But this is not who we are, this is our disease. And like any disease it has a cause, it has a progression, and it could have a cure. My greatest wish is that my children, our children - the next generation - do not have to face what I am facing. But for the time being, I'm still alive. I know I'm alive. I have people I love dearly. I have things I want to do with my life. I rail against myself for not being able to remember things - but I still have moments in the day of pure happiness and joy. And please do not think that I am suffering. I am not suffering. I am struggling. Struggling to be part of things, to stay connected to whom I was once. So, 'live in the moment' I tell myself. It's really all I can do, live in the moment. And not beat myself up too much... and not beat myself up too much for mastering the art of losing. One thing I will try to hold onto though is the memory of speaking here today. It will go, I know it will. It may be gone by tomorrow. But it means so much to be talking here, today, like my old ambitious self who was so fascinated by communication. Thank you for this opportunity. It means the world to me. Thank you.
“My yesterdays are disappearing, and my tomorrows are uncertain, so what do I live for? I live for each day. I live in the moment. Some tomorrow soon, I'll forget that I stood before you and gave this speech. But just because I'll forget it some tomorrow doesn't mean that I didn't live every second of it today. I will forget today, but that doesn't mean that today didn't matter.” 

“My yesterdays are disappearing, my tomorrows are uncertain, so what do I live for? I live for each day. I live in the moment.” 
Lydia Howland: But this isn't fair.
Dr. Alice Howland: I don't have to be fair. I'm your mother.
Dr. Alice Howland: I used to be someone who knew a lot. No one asks for my opinion or advice anymore. I miss that. I used to be curious and independent and confident. I miss being sure of things. There's no peace in being unsure of everything all the time. I miss doing everything easily. I miss being a part of what's happening. I miss feeling wanted. I miss my life and my family.
Dr. Alice Howland: Hi, Alice. I'm you. And I have something very important to say to you. Huh... I guess you've reached that point when you can answer any of your questions. So this is the next logical step. I'm sure of it. Because what's happening to you, the Alzheimer's - you could see it as tragic. But your life has been anything but tragic. You've had a remarkable career, and a great marriage, and three beautiful children. All right. Listen to me, Alice. This is important. Make sure that you are alone and go to the bedroom. In your bedroom, there's a dresser with a blue lamp. Open the top drawer. In the back of the drawer, there's a bottle with pills in it. It says 'take all pills with water'. Now, there are a lot of pills in that bottle, but it's very important that you swallow them all, okay? And then, lie down and go to sleep. And don't tell anyone what you're doing, okay?



8 2 2015



Still Alice- inspiring to live in the moment

《永遠的愛麗絲》

 Movie Review  
 8-2-2015

http://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2015/02/still-alice-not-just-movie.html

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