Monday, August 4, 2014

Movie review - Fault in our stars - with quotes (生命中的美好缺憾)

給生命缺憾賦予無限的生命力!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ItBvH5J6ss


昨天看了一部極為感人的電影,相信很多觀眾都哭了- Fault in our stars - 生命中的美好缺憾。

 但这个电影可以说是一个comedy instead. 西方对死亡的开放态度很值得学习. 如何做一个好情人,爱人,家长,青少年,

病人和病人的家人,   supporters 支援者,how to deal with adversity, we get all answers from the movie!


勇敢的小孩子让我感受到生命的有限和无限:how to get infinity from the finite life.

電影通過患癌青少年的愛情故事,探討生命的價值,死亡意義,親情,愛情,parenting, 如何照顧長期病患者的家人,從中深感當人們和真愛有深刻的連接,生命就像一個恆星,太陽,發光發熱,生命的缺憾變成感染生命的力量,生命的有長短已不再重要,就算死亡隨時出現,也可以活出精彩的每一刻!

故事的主題是我長期想了解,理解的課題-長期病患者的心理,家人的心理質素對生命的延續的影響,何謂無條件的愛,何謂幸福,在這樣的情況下!

當癌症已不是什麼罕見的疾病,而是全世界每個家庭都可能出現,可能要面對的情況,這個電影的家庭,孩子和父母提供我們可以參考的對象:在無時無刻可能面對寶貝離開的時候,父母怎樣做,怎樣表達,才能真正讓孩子感受到是愛?是安全的?家人處理好自己的情緒,對病人生命有直接的影響!我深深為電影中的父母那種平靜,耐心,無條件的愛和關懷而感動。他們給孩子帶來無限的快樂和生命力,哪怕是短暫的!

生命的長短有時不是我們可以控制的,但對生命的態度完全是個人的選擇,個人的責任。學習正確的生命的態度,可以出现完全不同的结果,不同質素的生命。

 “It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing.” 
 
John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“Without pain, how could we know joy?'
DON’T LET CANCER KILL YOUR SOUL!
電影中兩個青少年生命鬥士從愛的互動中互相支持,成長,留給我最大的啟示:愛是生存的最大動力!
 “Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” 
 
John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“Some people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them," I said.

"Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.” 
 
John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

電影讓我更加明白病人的心理,尤其是面對死亡的病人,他們的擔憂遠遠超過對自己死亡的恐懼,更擔憂的是家人自己的離去,不懂的如何面對產生的後果。不難發現家人對死亡的態度和情緒對病人的身體的影響是何等重要!

 “I'm a grenade and at some point I'm going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties, okay?” 
 
John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“Much of my life had been devoted to trying not to cry in front of people who loved me, so I knew what Augustus was doing. You clench your teeth. You look up. You tell yourself that if they see you cry, it will hurt them, and you will be nothing but a Sadness in their lives, and you must not become a mere sadness, so you will not cry, and you say all of this to yourself while looking up at the ceiling, and then you swallow even though your throat does not want to close and you look at the person who loves you and smile.” 
 John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

令我感動不已的一幕是當媽媽知道患病的女兒因為媽媽的恐懼而產生極大的負面情緒時,她馬上向女兒道歉,並告訴女兒,媽媽正在學習輔導課程,望可以成為一位出色的社工,用自己家人的抗癌的感人故事,幫助鼓勵面對同樣問題的家庭,陪伴他們也活出美麗的一生!女兒此時感到這就是媽媽給她最大的安慰和禮物,讓她的生命可以延續的最好方法!女兒的擔憂放下了。輕鬆了,再次感受到父母成長了,孩子就真正長大了。
電影還有一個重要的探索- 如何看待生命的長短,自己的形象和會留下什麼給這個世界?我們怎樣看自己,評價自己,就會創造出怎樣的自己。

“There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God knows that’s what everyone else does.” 

看完電影,突然有一種豁然開竅的感覺:有什麼比自己怎樣看自己,value自己,愛自己更重要呢?
愛自己,就是最好​​的療愈!愛自己, 就懂得愛別人!

當死亡不再是一個恐懼,​​而是一個學習,一個必須經歷的過程,接受它,身心就會安頓,生命將會輕鬆很多!快樂很多,幸福的定義也會改寫!

 “Funerals...are for the living.” 
When we know death is not the final destination, we know how to live.

人生没有失败,只有收获!这是我的其中一个领悟.

Steve Jobs said 








4-8-2014

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