Friday, August 1, 2014

A review on Gary's night on parenting - How to truly love ourselves Part 2

To love our children by first truly love ourselves 

To truly love ourselves is the best gift
to our children 

What a special parenting education journey I have never ever experienced!

Gary ‘finally’ came to Dreams Possible to give us a workshop on parenting tonight! A busy guy!  A great young speaker. A wonderful group-mate of mine in DP 25. Really proud of him!

What I really appreciated this workshop was the hypnosis parts! He fully used his voice power to convey ideas into people’s subconscious mind.

This is a huge boost to me as a hypnotherapist.

In the first part limiting belief change process, during the hypnosis process, he guided me change my limiting belief towards my son – I actually realized my son does haves flexibility and open-minded characters. It all depends on how I see him, from which angles.

With a negative belief, negative behavior towards children are aroused naturally. If we don’t trust children, who can learn from their mistakes, appreciate children curiosity and encourage them to try as a learning process, an unhappy children childhood will be the results that might affect their whole lives in all aspect in the future.

Another issue is parents’ relationship. Most of unhappy childhood results from this. In the third part, family therapy and letter writing, I again wrote to my grandmother, who looked after us most of the time in our childhood. I realized again that the arguments with my husband was my projection of my anger to my grandmother, who was a sufferer of bad marriage and from a poor family. She got a quite hot temper as a result. At that time when my kid was small, once my husband got angry, I felt I was the victim again. I blamed my fate. That affected deeply to my kid mindset and cause traumas that takes time to heal.

I will never repeat this mistake through forgiving my grandma and my husband, by understanding their background and by expression of myself in a more human way.

I fully agree Gary’s ideas that nowadays, children are not loved in a proper way, they have too much ‘love’ that they cannot feel and like actually, mostly because parents don’t know how to love themselves or never have a right love model from their parents, or parents’ parents.

Some behavior program of bad parenting is like:

obsessive compulsive disorder – a compulsive defense system by triggers of their childhood issues or growing-up issues or unfinished businesses. And then they project to others and kids once there are opposite voices.


By compensation: to put self-wish and wants to children, which might be their long desire, dreams which they have not yet fulfilled. Once the kids don’t obey, the parents are not happy or get upset, damaging the relationship again. Or by giving kids too much material instead of spiritual love as a compensation of their own deficient love in their early or present life as a security.


By proof: To prove they are great if children are great or self-ego drive them to give huge expectation on their kids, instead of respecting their kids’ own potential and strength and weakness.
The above mechanisms are due to fear, insecurity, guilt, deficiency in love and self esteem.

How to be a good parent? To learn to love ourselves before we send our positive love to our kids!

Thank you so much Gary for your personal experience sharing and great hypnosis processes for our mindset transformation!

Again, I found I really love hypnosis! I have chosen what I love to do! A super-fast, direct train to our subconscious mind and result in change!


七月份的同學會又嚟啦,今次"生命 Turn On 系列的主題是親子篇,並於七月最後的星期四31號舉行。



我們十分期待你的出席!只要你參加過DP課程, DP同學會都是屬於你的!

日期:2014731 (星期四)

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