Friday, April 22, 2016

The power of Story Therapy - 生命故事的自我疗愈

 终于上到黄锦敦老师的叙事therapy ,好开心,老师一开始就给我一个极为深刻的印象,那就是open-minded,与人的情感的连接和亲和力非常好,原因是他的聆听,启发式的问句,总给人带来思考和共鸣。

他给我的签名,送给我一个惊喜的祝福!这也是我每天都想活出来的状态,每天都像是一个好奇的孩子,这样,我就可以对人充满好奇和喜欢聆听别人的故事!热爱自己的工作。

這是黃錦敦老師送給我的簽名,送給我一個驚喜的祝福!說出我的每天都想活出來的狀態:每天都像是一個好奇的孩子,這樣,我就可以對人和事物充滿好奇,喜歡和好好聆聽別人的故事!熱愛自己的工作。(寫在敘事治療課程 13 4 2016)





他说:让父母发挥自己的热情和喜悦,不需要要求自己完美,没有完善的家长!我很感触!孩子也许就是喜欢我们的活出自己的热情!
每个故事,都去发现别人的特质和价值。
人是在矛盾中成长,矛盾不是坏事,没有矛盾,就没有进步。

他很爱旅行,他说:离开家,才是真正回到家!感受到家的爱,孩子的爱!
失去才是真正的得到!
每个孩子都有自己的特质或野性,教育可以让人融于社会,但我们要保护孩子的野性!
正向的attachment,会让我们走的更远,而不是停滞不前,不敢离开!
人是活在故事里面的。往往在故事里面,人们找到自己的潜能,问题的根源,解决问题的方向和方法。

练习1:
我眼中的爸爸妈妈,孩子和丈夫:
他们眼中的我。

这个过程,我看到他们的价值观和行为模式,我和他们相近的地方和不同的地方,对他们的理解也深刻了。

如何活出自己的同时,也可以照顾到别人的感受!

每个人是自己的生命专家。每个人都用自己的方式去面对挑战!

不被懂的故事里通常包含了困境,问题,恐惧,但我们不断探索,问下去,让别人讲下去,最后,我们发现,他们自己已经找到解决问题的方法,找到面对的方法,都在故事里!

练习2:
在讲故事是,个案本来是从问题开始,但最后都发现自己根本已经解决了自己的问题,或改写的自己的价值!

example: YY认为妈妈觉得她的出世是来陪哥哥的,所以好像自己没有没看见,她永祚街的方法去吸引大人,活出不一样的自己,改写了自己,创造的自己!

问题不是问题,如何看自己的价值才是最重要!
当我们被认同,被自己认同,有价值,我们就有力量面对问题。

Monica 从妈妈让她从心所欲,但又不放心的矛盾,看到母亲的爱!把遗产留给她,令她很感动!

练习3:
我心中的三个幸福的图像:
给我的一个深刻的反思:

我渴望和孩子有一个拥抱: 老师问我:什么时候拥抱:我说,早上和晚上睡前。他问我原因,我说,那是他最脆弱的时候。

拥抱时有什么感受,我说,有爱的流动,有力量,互相都给对方力量!
老师要我们找一张卡表达我的感受,别人也表达他们看到我的感受。
我用了:倍伴:
别人给我的有温柔,有爱,还有连接。

我很感动!。老师问我倍伴的意思:我说,我想去倍伴他,不论他的情绪怎样,我渴望他明白我对他的尊重,渴望聆听他的声音!那就够了。

第二个图像是渴望收到他的信,第三是礼物。

但我觉得我的期望是否太高,原来这不重要,重要的是:在说故事的时候,我说孩子是我的ITtrainer,是我的inspiration叫我活出梦想。还来我的工作坊帮助我。分享梦境和感受!

monica说,这是一种爱的表现,他未必用你心中的方式去表达,他有他的爱意表达方式,我发现,我们们家长要去感受。是的!

从中,我看到自己是如何的幸福,我已经有了!我没有看到呀!

这个故事提醒我要珍惜,要学习感恩和赞美,深深的,具体的赞美,赞美背后的那份真爱!



my state



Monica chose it for me

练习4

哪些地方丈夫没有看到,产生误会:我说:心理健康和身体健康的关系。但当我讲他的原生家庭的故事和他的成长时,我更加感觉到我们两个对吃东西的价值观的差异,我要学习尊重他价值观,不要直接对抗,而是去聆听他的故事吗,让他去发现他的力量,然后他会有力量去面对自己的挑战!
这就是叙事therapy的真谛!


Thursday, April 21, 2016

Coach v.s. coachee

今天和好朋友一起分享夢境療癒的修煉。每次分享,大家都有意想不到的收穫。Dreams link us together。

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qopCBa2BzMM

 朋友的夢:Dog and Baby

在一個露天的庭院給自己的狗沖涼,然後胡亂抹乾了事,包好它後,它突然變成一個baby!

好朋友已經解的很好了,但她心裡還是有不安。
還沒有感到真正的釋放和能量的提升。
我很感受到朋友對夢的真諦的追求!

我問:如果BB 會說話,會說甚麼?
朋友說:我对它留意得我太少了,我是BB你也認不出來? ......暴露 它在露天......

我直觉告诉我:朋友的内心在说:“我是人,不是狗。我的心有被伤害的感觉”

這是一個關於coaching的夢。 从中深刻的提醒我们:
coach本身要很caring coachee的感受和自尊心,不小心,會產生傷害。

Baby象徵著我們真實情感,她很脆弱,朋友開始聽聽她內心的說話,特別是夢醒後的感受,聯想到的一系列事情背後的牽動,所以,感觸很大。

夢既然挥之不去,就表示不是睡覺才發,醒來還在發,不是嗎?情緒就是夢的根源之一,但醒来,梦的核心部分一直会影响我们的情绪,直到我们听到它的真正意义。

我也分享我的一個噩夢,夢的insight很震撼:

我孩童時經歷,因為孩子的自己很脆弱,年輕時的一些可怕的經歷,以為沒有什麼大不了,但卻不是的!不會因為今天的我没有这些经历而消失,或自己的成长而忘记。一天不去安撫,去聆聽,都會有陰影,總是影響我們。

感恩好朋友聆聽我的分享,問我的問題,提醒我要聆聽內在的聲音。讓我釋放情感:再次感受到解夢是雙方的療愈。

所以,在解夢課程中,我說了一句,解夢是一種思維方法,行為模式,可以用到生活中,清醒狀態也可以用。人每時每刻都受到潛意識的影響,不是sleep才有情緒。感受梦里梦外的情绪和情感,生命敏感度因此提升。

我也很感恩可以再次清晰了自己的理念。

朋友的這個夢提醒我:照顧好別人的自尊,得到別人的信任,才有可能繼續coach下去,coach是陪伴,聆聽和啟發。

我感受到:做為助人工作者,我們是
用溫柔的手去撫摸一個人的心,絕不能用一個刷子去擦傷別人的心。但這是一個修行。

我又記起陳一德老師的話:作為一個治療師,u need only a spoon of Technic, but an ocean of Love.

朋友的話,我很感激,再次看到解夢的療愈和帶來心靈上的深刻理解,我也有empowered的感覺:

Donna 帶我感謝夢!

夢讓我承受了,傷害了的地方可以有機會被明白,被知道。

Donna 對我說:受傷了就承認是受傷了,眼淚是很珍貴的,讓情緒表達,能量才會出來。

同時,欣賞自己的與人不同,肯定自己的價值。

謝謝你的提醒,你的陪伴!
跟你傾完,能量高了。謝謝你 Donna !
 謝謝 Donna 的明白,陪伴,接納和溫柔對待 !

是的,解開一個夢後,我們的能量會大些,方向清晰些,壓力減少些,信心大些,一種自我釋放和解放,從新的角度看事物和自己。心理質素提升,執行力提高!

解夢是一種修行,是一種思維方法,行為模式,可以用到日常生活中,清醒狀態也可以用同樣方式去解析自己的內心世界!和自己心對話,同行!

20 4 2016

About Narrative therapy

My favorite therapy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrative_therapy

Narrative therapy

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Michael White
Narrative therapy
Intervention
MeSHD062525
Narrative therapy is a form of psychotherapy that seeks to help people identify their values and the skills and knowledge they have to live these values, so they can effectively confront whatever problems they face. The therapist seeks to help the person co-author a new narrative about themselves by investigating the history of those qualities. Narrative therapy claims to be a social justice approach to therapeutic conversations, seeking to challenge dominant discourses that it claims shape people's lives in destructive ways. The approach was developed during the 1970s and 1980s, largely by Australian social worker Michael Whiteand David Epston of New Zealand.[1]
While narrative work is typically located within the field of family therapy, many authors and practitioners report using these ideas and practices in community work, schools and higher education.[2][3][4][5]

Identity[edit]

The narrative therapist focuses upon assisting people to create stories about themselves, about their identities, that are helpful to them. This work of "re-authoring identity" claims to help people identify their own values and identify the skills and knowledge they have to live these values. Through the process of identifying the history of values in people's lives, the therapist is able to co-author a new story about the person.[6]
The story people tell about themselves and that is told about them is important in this approach which asserts that the story of person's identity determines what they think is possible for themselves. The narrative process allows people to identify what values are important to them and how they might use their own skills and knowledge to live these values.[7]

Externalizing the problem[edit]

The concept of identity is important in narrative therapy. The approach aims not conflate people's identities with the problems they may face or the mistakes they have made. Rather, the approach seeks to avoid modernist, essentialist notions of the self that leads people to believe there is a biologically determined "true self" or "true nature". Instead, identity is seen as primarily social that can be changed according to the choices people make.[8]
To separate people's identities from the problems they face, narrative therapy employs externalizing conversations. The process of externalization allows people to consider their relationships with problems, thus the narrative motto: “The person is not the problem, the problem is the problem.”[1] So-called strengths or positive attributes are also externalized, allowing people to engage in the construction and performance of preferred identities.

Therapeutic Posture[edit]

In a narrative approach, the therapist aims to adopt a collaborative therapeutic posture rather than imposing ideas on people by giving them advice. Both the therapist and the people who consult them are seen as having valuable information both in terms of the process of therapeutic conversation and in terms of the content of these conversations. By adopting a posture of curiosity and collaboration instead, the therapist aims to give the implicit message to people that they have already knowledge and skills to solve the problems they face. When people develop solutions to their own problems on the basis of their own values, they become much more committed to implementing these solutions.[9]

Common elements[edit]

Common elements in narrative therapy are:
  • The assumption that narratives or stories shape a person's identity, as when a person assesses a problem in their life for its effects and influences as a "dominant story";
  • An appreciation for the creation and use of documents, as when a person and a counselor co-author "A Graduation from the Blues Certificate";
  • An "externalizing" emphasis, such as by naming a problem so that a person can assess its effects in his or her life, come to know how it operates or works in their life, relate their earliest history, evaluate it to take a definite position on its presence, and in the end choose their relationship to it.
  • A focus on "unique outcomes" (a term of Erving Goffman) or exceptions to the problem that wouldn't be predicted by the problem's narrative or story itself.
  • A strong awareness of the impact of power relations in therapeutic conversations, with a commitment to checking back with the client about the effects of therapeutic styles in order to mitigate the possible negative effect of invisible assumptions or beliefs held by the therapist.
  • Responding to personal failure conversations[10]

Method[edit]

In Narrative therapy a person's beliefs, skills, principles, and knowledge are seen as the means to help them regain their life from a problem(s). In practice a narrative therapist aims to help clients examine, evaluate, and change their relationship to a problem by acting as an “investigative reporter” who is not at the center of the investigation but is nonetheless influential; that is, this therapist poses questions that help people externalize a problem and then thoroughly investigate it.
Intertwined with this problem investigation is the uncovering of unique outcomes or exceptions to its influences, exceptions that are claimed to lead to rich accounts of key values and hopes—in short, a platform of values and principles that provide support during problem influences and later an alternate direction in life.
The narrative therapist, as an investigative reporter, has many options for questions and conversations during a person's effort to regain their life from a problem. These questions might examine how exactly the problem has managed to influence that person's life, including its voice and techniques to make itself stronger.
On the other hand, these questions might help restore exceptions to the problem's influences that lead to naming an alternate direction in life. Here the narrative therapist relies on the premise that, though a problem may be prevalent and even severe, it has not yet completely destroyed the person. So, there always remains some space for questions about a person's resilient values and related, nearly forgotten events. To help retrieve these events, the narrative therapist may begin a related re-membering conversation about the people who have contributed new knowledge or skills and the difference that has made to someone and vice versa for the remembered, influential person.

Outsider witnesses[edit]

In this particular narrative practice or conversation, outsider witnesses are invited listeners to a consultation. Often they are friends of the consulting person or past clients of the therapist who have their own knowledge and experience of the problem at hand. During the first interview, between therapist and consulting person, the outsider listens without comment.
Then the therapist interviews them with the instructions not to critique or evaluate or make a proclamation about what they have just heard, but instead to simply say what phrase or image stood out for them, followed by any resonances between their life struggles and those just witnessed. Lastly, the outsider is asked in what ways they may feel a shift in how they experience themselves from when they first entered the room.[11]
Next, in similar fashion, the therapist turns to the consulting person, who has been listening all the while, and interviews them about what images or phrases stood out in the conversation just heard and what resonances have struck a chord within them.
In the end, an outsider witness conversation is often rewarding for witnesses. But for the consulting person the outcomes are remarkable: they learn they are not the only one with this problem, and they acquire new images and knowledge about it and their chosen alternate direction in life. The main aim of the narrative therapy is to engage in people's problems by providing the alternative best solution.[citation needed]

Criticisms of narrative therapy[edit]

To date, there have been several formal criticisms of narrative therapy over what are viewed as its theoretical and methodological inconsistencies, among various other concerns.[12][13][14]
  • Narrative therapy has been criticised as holding to a social constructionist belief that there are no absolute truths, but only socially sanctioned points of view, and that Narrative therapists therefore privilege their client's concerns over and above "dominating" cultural narratives.[13][15]
  • Several critics have posed concerns that narrative therapy has made gurus of its leaders, particularly in the light that its leading proponents tend to be overly harsh about most other kinds of therapy.[13][15] Others have criticized narrative therapy for failing to acknowledge that the individual Narrative therapist may bring personal opinions and biases into the therapy session.[13]
  • Narrative therapy is also criticized for the lack of clinical and empirical studies to validate its many claims.[16] Etchison & Kleist (2000) state that narrative therapy's focus on qualitative outcomes is not congruent with larger quantitativeresearch and findings which the majority of respected empirical studies employ today. This has led to a lack of research material which can support its claims of efficacy.[16]

20 4 2016

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

mindfulness,催眠靜坐的精髓

昨天晚上的共修,體驗洪朝豐老師的打坐和分享。再讀到老師的這篇文章,對他明白多了些。老師有太多事情要做,他離開建立的友情組別,雖然我不捨得,但我開始去明白他。



這是我第一次用睡姿去做這次的meditation,感覺更加自在,聆聽到自己身體發出的聲音,你太累了,多些休息吧!

好多事情想做,腦子裡開始很雜亂,慢慢整個人變得frozen起來, 聽到老師說不為所動,我感到要不為外界(也是自己內在的一部分吧)的事物所動!感受自己身體和心底的需要最重要!於是非常放鬆,又有所領悟!

放鬆和專注,不為所動和隨風飄逸,放空自己,無牽無掛,最後回到自己內在的家!這是我領會到的意境。

聽起來矛盾,我感到這就是mindfulness,催眠靜坐的精髓。當我們可以隨時調節自己,身心靈合一,做自己喜歡做的事,又可以和別人和睦相處,和宇宙能量合一,為自己和大家創造價值,好自在,好愜意!

一生的學習。

20 4 2016







20 4 2015

《無限可能性在夢中》五月工作坊 (New Address)

在一個溫馨、溫暖、舒適的環境下學習我們的自己的夢境,分享夢境力量,解夢帶來的啟迪和潛能。
這就是57 ( 2.30pm - 4.30pm)號將會用的課室- ( Esther WISDOM CLUB),好有夢幻、能量的感覺。感謝導師Esther Lee 的大力支持, 身心靈平台,包括 Kay Fung和她的團隊的不懈的努力,創造了短時間數百個工作坊的奇蹟......







Tuesday, April 19, 2016

解夢:與心對話,同行!


我需要學解夢嗎?很多朋友问我。
解夢是一種修行,是一種思維方法,行為模式,可以用到日常生活中,清醒狀態也可以用同樣方式去解析自己的內心世界!和自己心对话,同行!
解夢工作坊和課程不是送給只記得夢的朋友們,而是一個非常基本的健康教育,解夢是心理和心靈的提升過程。
有夢,無夢,記不記得夢都不重要。
4月的夢境探索工作坊後,收到不少參加者朋友們的回應,例如:
Ricky給自己定下來新的DAILY ACTION GOAL,每晚12點前一定睡覺!夢境反映睡眠質素!我很欣慰,如果我可以令更多人因明白夢境科學而建立健康的生活習慣,我就很滿足了!我看到這個工作的意義!
CK :前兩個星期他說:The worst thing is completely blank. 意思是很難記得的夢。今天,他說:我已經記錄了三個夢,會來學習解析自己的夢了!
當一個人的夢迴來了,是一件非常美麗的事。當你可以記得夢,你的身體在恢復,健康在提升,因為記得夢是一種能力。
當然不記得也不是壞事,很多因素。重要的是自己有開心,健康和自在的狀態。
夢是想讓內心清醒時看不到,聽不懂的聲音被明白。
避免很多問題發生,或給與力量,解決問題的指南。
Elaine 說,很難記得夢,但用了你的睡前催眠孵夢的方法,覺睡得好些,終於記得些夢了,也会来认真学解夢,因為內外一致,身心靈合一,夢境治療是自我coaching,自我成長過程!!
睡前自我催眠孵夢的語句:親愛的潛意識,
請你幫我一個忙,讓我今晚可以作一個夢,(給一個範圍-關於...或順其自然不用給任何題目),並且記著,讓我醒來可以記起來下來,讓我有機會更靠近你,懂你,和你做好朋友. 現在我要去好好的睡一覺,不論什麼信息,我都會好好接收,感謝潛意識的自己送來源源不絕的內在資源。
然後,你可以下載我的睡眠催眠audio,睡前聽聽:
57號的夢境探索工作坊 (無限可能性在夢中),將有更多分享和互動。
http://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2016/04/donna.html
運用互動和分享,令參加者初步了解自己的夢境和日常行為和情緒,心理質素的關係,學習應夢境做自己的內在生命導師。
適合真正想了解自己,渴望用內在力量解決自己的問題,提升睡眠和心理質素,開拓內在無限潛能和創意的你!



Monday, April 18, 2016

哀傷療愈 - 催眠、敘事、夢境和隱喻治療的運用

在陳一德老師的課堂上,我們看到老師是如何用催眠方法,處理大量的哀傷個案。朋友們情緒跌倒谷底,但經過療愈,可以站起來,帶著笑容走出去,勇敢地面對今後的日子!

華山老師的課堂裡,我也同樣深深感受到心理治療對哀傷的處理的威力,情緒轉化是潛意識的轉化,是很深層次的改變,因為人們看到了內心的力量!

這也是我為什麼非常喜歡用催眠作為橋樑,用生命故事,敘事治療,夢境故事,隱喻故事治療,用個案的內在資源,帶著别人走出心理的困境,特別是哀傷處理,心理創傷處理!

最近的一個案,對我是一場深刻的生死教育。

朋友一連兩次在短時間內受到摯愛和密友的突然離逝的打擊,夢裡不斷出現摯愛的情景,最後離開時的moment,殯儀館的情景,各種淒慘又浪漫美麗的畫面。還有很多幻覺的出現..... 情緒上一直不能平復,想起來也會哭.

我深深感受到朋友的痛,朋友的愛和不捨難分的情感!

我用催眠帶朋友走進時光隧道,帶她回到男友的身邊,用漸進式放鬆和想像力的催眠,讓她和男友再一次做深情的對話:我明白,
有太多的話沒有来的及表達,就這樣離開,
我明白有太多的思念需要抒發,
我就是她的聆聽者,
和她同行這些日子。

從剛剛認識的日子,到這幾年的相處,風風雨雨,溫馨和盼望,和战胜病魔的喜悅,和家人的關係的變化和升华,兩個人的生命是如何影響身邊朋友,家人,如何一起經歷,一起成長!

我看到一個如何在逆境中不斷脫變的女孩的心歷路程,她的生命真的不简单!

過程中,我讓她盡情傾述近來的夢境,讓她感受到:自己就是自己最好的心理治療師,她的夢境,帶她看到困境中仍有歡樂,帶她回到曾經一起浪漫、溫馨的時刻,再次感受男友對她進修的支持和激勵,男友在精神上從沒離開過她,給她希望,給她力量!

在最困難的時刻,男友病重時,她要面對考試,但她passed,是一個極大的安慰,也是對男友的一個報答!

她慢慢敘述自己的一生,我帶她探索價值觀,信念和她的渴望,工作上的樂趣和滿足感。我被她的正向自我價值,堅強又樂觀的人生態度而感動!分享中,我感受到她已經將生命的經歷看成是學習的過程。她說:每個人都會經歷這些暴風雨,我不過是比別人早去經歷罷了。

這幾句話深深感動她的家人和我,讓我們放心,她已經站起來,開始一個新的生活!you are stronger than ever! Life has to go on!

朋友的人生經歷和成長也深深感染了身邊的親人,朋友,她感受到原來自己有很多愛惜他們的朋友,好朋友的贴身照顾和关心,是她的福分!家人也更是倍加團結和心連心,她和男友的成長,也深深感染了身邊的家人和朋友,大家一起陪伴她成長!

來到催眠的尾聲,她回到給男友帶上戒指的时刻,我問,這時,腦海裡浮現了什麼?她說,是一個發出白光的,像是酒杯的物體。我問,裡面有什麼?她說。好像可以裝很多東西。放在窗边,太阳照耀。

我說,你也帶給我做了一次很好的催眠,我完全感受到你的感受,看到這些畫面,還聽到聲音,現在,我看到酒杯在陽光的折射下,發出彩虹的光芒!還有就是你和男友一起和你celebrate, 用這個杯子喝酒,慶賀你今天的成長,也像是一個婚禮的慶祝。是你們兩個心連在一起的慶祝!

最後,我和她擁抱。我看到她已經找到方向,夢中開車不知去哪裡的感覺已經融化,我問她進修後還有什麼打算, 她的語句越來越有力量,有信心,她想可以自在,自由和開心的畫出自己的彩虹!活出自己的生命,男友的精神,會在她身上再現,這就是對他最好的懷念!

我問她,用一個隱喻表達自己想要活出的 自己: 她喜悅的說:我是一個松鼠,蹦蹦跳跳,到處攢,到處跑,好carefree!這就是我了!


那男友呢?他是一個鳥!海上飛來飛去的鳥。自由自在的飛翔!看到鸟,看到海,就可以想到他的精神带着生命力,给她力量!


“看到鳥,就看到了他,看到海,就看到了他!他會永遠活在我的心裡!”

我真的好感恩。一场生死教育,療愈別人,療愈自己!

18 4 2016


在哀傷的日子裡,潜意识、夢是我們最多的陪伴著,如何看待這些幻觉和噩夢,美夢和情感豐富的夢境,如何好好利用,帶來深刻的理解和轉化,這些正是我的工作,談心,陪伴,同行和啟發,我熱愛這個工作,我自己也是被療愈。

感恩可以陪伴別人利用夢境的智慧,走出悲傷,站起來,更加愛自己,活出自己,讓失去的生命繼續在自己身上活出來!






24 4 2016