Every behaviour has a positive intention -每個行為的背后,都有一個正面的動機
每次遇上困難,不知如何解決的問題,我就會溫習NLP,特別是NLP基石和信念- the presuppositions.带来启发和能量.
因為我相信, There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states.
當我平靜時,我相信我會接受問題,面對它,有能力處理它. 当人平静时,智慧就出来了!
今天對我最大啟發的是:
Every behaviour has a positive intention.
No matter how strange, hurtful or inappropriate a person’s
behaviour may seem to you; to the person engaging in that behaviour, it makes
sense in their model of the world. They see the behaviour as the best or only
way of meeting their need or achieving their outcome.
Similar ways to express this presupposition are:
- Everyone
is doing the best they can with the resources available to them.
- Every
behaviour is useful in some context.
- Everyone
is always doing what they believe is right.
- This
is the best choice available to a person given the circumstances as they
see it.
The key is to appreciate the positive intention of the other
person’s behaviour. This does not mean that you view the other person’s
behaviour as positive. On the contrary, you may find it quite distasteful. You
need to look behind their behaviour to notice their positive intention - for
them, for you, for someone else, … . Once you have an understanding of their
positive intention, explore alternative ways to help the person achieve it.
在每個人的世界裡,不論別人的行為多麼不合理,令你不舒服,或產生傷痛,必有它的需要. 但不等與認同別人的行為.
化解分歧, 最重要是去了解別人的需要和動機;或幫別人找到其它方法,更正面,積極,健康的方法去到達這個需要或消除負面的情緒,如恐懼. 也達到你的目的,可能是解決問題,增進關系.搞好工作.提高效率等.
每個人都會找到最好的方法去到達自己的動機,當他們認識到的話.所以,以變化的眼光看事物,人的潛意識是最想對自己好的.有好的方法, 人們是可以接受和願意改變的.
行為不等於人本身,正如我不是為的情緒,我有選擇去改變我的情緒和行為!
我也深刻体会到:
作為父母,過度的"愛"和保護可能帶來反效果.要學習放手!
共勉!
No comments:
Post a Comment