I am a hypnotherapist, dream and narrative therapist. In the blog, I share my life and working experiences, in which I find inner peace, happiness, and abundant resources, a self-discovery, self-healing process.
What I found in love and marriage by dream analysis 從夢境看愛和婚姻的旅程
25-11-2014 In hypnotherapy and dream therapy practices, quite of cases I have handled were relationship of marriage and love.
Sometimes, people come to me to learn their dream
meaning. But behind the dreams is a deep
world of marriage issues, love issues, ultimately, is self-struggling. Their dreams awake them to face; dreams give
them directions, methods and even solutions.
I am grateful to get people trust to help them to brighten
up, to find their own resources and regain self- healing power to get through the hardship. Through these processes, I am surprised to
find that even in most difficult time of a marriage, love crisis, our subconscious mind is not
to give up but seek for solutions. The intention from all of people's dreams are almost the same - so lovely, empathetic, constructive and positive.
While analysis and sharing, we all realized dreams carries
so profound insight that we have
to admit a fact - that is, dreams are a soul of mirror, a best teacher of life, source of wisdom
and bridge between our conscious and subconscious mind.
While helping and supporting people to solve their issues, I am healing myself and learning from people how they face crisis, getting a constantly reminder - quality of communication is quality of life.
Here is one of my articles on marriage, which I read many times, learning how to make imperfect to perfect marriage life.
The Journey of
Marriage (Publised in Ming Pao)
You married your
boyfriend because you fell for him on the very first date; or because he gave
you fulfillment, love, a sense of security and confidence; or simply because
you admired his intelligence, gorgeous looks and his sense of humour. Whatever
brought you together, after some time of married life, you may come to realize
that marriage, in fact, is not as ideal and sweet as you had made it out to
Day by day,
disagreements appear which in time develop into more serious arguments. This
might be about preference of restaurants or color of a piece of furniture,
disputes from visiting whose parents-in-law first to financial issue, or from
which school should be selected for the kids to either of you having an affair…
You might feel the relationship
in your marriage is wobbly since you have sensed that he is no longer the
person you married - he has become too emotional or uncommunicative or even
changed in so many respects. Is a break up inevitable? What would be the
consequence of divorce? What would be its impact on the children? Would it be
better to persevere in the hope of new start? You’re in a real dilemma.
All this is not imaginary
but happens frequently especially to a young couple once a new life comes to
Having been married
for a good many years, I really feel that marriage is a journey of continuously
adapting to ever-changing conditions. People change especially when experiencing
ups and downs. Even our characters change with age and environment. Working
pressures, differences in parenting, moving house, the loss of jobs, illness
and the loss of family members occur. Many uncertainties and events may
increase the strain on the relationship.
Conflicts are unavoidable. Try to talk potential problems over
heart-to-heart and always develop and maintain regular communication. Ignoring issues will make problems worse and
the relationship may eventually become irretrievable.
are some suggestions on what to do when things start going wrong:
Listen to your partner and try to understand his/her point of view;
Discuss the problems thoroughly, calmly and objectively.
Avoid raking up old grievances.
Consider different options until you can reach a satisfactory agreement.
I believe the more a
couple communicative, the happier they will be. By way of communication, they
learn to express intimate feelings like content and discontent, loves and hates
in comfortable ways that facilitate mutual understanding, rather than just to
grumble or complain.
I’ve come to
understand that marriage is sharing, forgiving and growing with someone in the
long run. When the dizzy passion and excitement fade, continue to treat your
partner like your boyfriend or girlfriend instead of taking each other for
granted. Valuing each other with respect and appreciation rather than just
picking his/her up on daily mistakes. Seek comfort, reassurance. Laugh about
something that didn't go too well. All of these enable us to overcome adversity
and make it possible for the relationship to grow organically.
As life is short
and things change perpetually, we ought to treasure every single day no matter
whether it is memorable or ordinary, joyful or dire.