探索潛意識， 找到更美丽的自己

探索潛意識， 找到更美丽的自己–20 8 2016

Subconscious Mind Power Training Course

潛意識力量訓練課程  20 21 August, 2016 

一加，我想和大家一起来做一个hypnosis process，请大家起身，找一个适合的位置，做小小身展，stretch，闭上眼睛，双手合十，，深深地吸一口氣，停留片刻，以后，慢，慢呼氣，双手向下，再来一次，一加，请将双手放在心口或肚脐的位置，每次吸气，感受天地的能量，感受宇宙大爱；每次呼气，想象一股山泉，从山上流下来，清凉，甘甜，洗迪我们的心灵，净化我们的身体，令人平静。放松，放松，越放松，就越接近和自己的心灵深处, 我们潜意识的世界！

OK，请大家坐下，再次闭上眼睛。再做一次深深的呼吸，然后以最自然呼吸速度，一下一下，慢慢的吸气，慢慢的呼出去。每次呼气，都感觉到越来越放松，越来越舒畅。透过呼吸，感受脉搏的跳动，心脏的跳动，聆听身体，心灵的信息，此时此刻，让自己好好放松一下，沉淀一下自己，学习和自己好好在一起，享受一下身心灵合一的境界。让自己的头脑，与心贴近，让自己的心，与自己的身体更加贴近。

现在我们耳边响起的歌声，叫做“你激励我成长”，

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

你激励了我，所以我能站在群山頂端；
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

你激励了我，讓我能走過狂風暴雨的大海；

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

當我靠在你的肩上時，我变得堅強；

You raise me up... To more than I can be.
你激励我...讓我能超越自己。

You raise me up, you，你們，其中一個是我们內在的自己，是心中那個自己！面對任何困難，挑戰，一個個難關，都不離不棄的自己！此時此刻，我們听这首歌，我們倍加感恩有这样一个内在的自己！

現在的我，處於人生哪個位子？我有时也有迷惘、猶豫。

現在的我，真正想做什麼，要什麼？潛能在哪裡？渴望得到指引？

 這些小聲音，日夜敲打着你我们的心。

懇求答案，希望有「高人」現身，指點迷津。

其实，这个高人，就是我们内在的自己，他每时每刻都通过身体的感觉，情绪的表达，梦境的故事告诉自己真正的需要是什么。

为什么内在的自己连自己清醒状态都看不到？正如 G. Bermard所指出： “我們選擇遺忘，忘了我是誰，然後忘了我們的遺忘。”

“我們看到的，以為熟悉的自己，其實是虛假，片面地自我。”

一旦我们真的静心下来，聆听内在的声音，我们会发现：潛意識的自己是最了解自己的, 最愛自己的另一個自己，也是最不願意放棄自己的一個人。

每個人在人生路上都在尋找自己最適合的位置。今天，让我们好好沉澱下自己，通过探索自己的生命，好好總結下自己的人生，思考下今後的路怎樣走，思考下有什麼人生經歷值得回味，保留，發揚光大，有什麼要繼續尋找，追求，有什麼包袱要放下，move forward。一旦发现認識真正的自己，拥有大量內在資源的自己，就会令我們平靜的面對和擁抱將來！

總結自己人生經歷，從中發現自己的潛能，特質，強項和熱情！還有我們的脆弱一面。當我們看到自己的脆弱，我們就走向一個堅強，完整，完善的自己。

歌声中，我们感恩生命中幫助我們的人，家人，老師，朋友，既使他可能令我们感觉到惊吓，不舒服，困扰，担心，害怕，我们来感谢他们，令我们觉醒，发省，改变，成长！

我们更加要感恩的是我们潜意识的自己，最真实的自己。无论面對任何困難，挑戰，一個個難關，他都不離不棄，倍伴左右！每当我们面对矛盾，情绪翻腾，处于生命的十字路，他都为我们费尽思量，连睡眠是都在为自己操心。有时大声疾呼，有时幽默搞笑，千方百计，让我们看到自己白天，清醒时看不到的东西！此時此刻，我們听这首歌，倍加感恩有这样一个内在的朋友，他就是我们的潜意识的代言人，梦境！

每个人都是独一无二，每个人的梦都是unique，但在潜意识的大同世界，人的潜意识最核心的部分是一致的，他就是：每个人都需要安全感，都有恐惧，担忧，有情绪，有脆弱的一面，黑暗的一面；但每个人天生都爱自己，想自己进步，渴望发挥潜能，活的自在！

今天，我们走进自己的潜意识的心灵深处，感受什么是生命敏感度。聆听想到的声音，学习好好和内在的自己相处，找到了一个内在的家，一个最了解自己的内在指导，每当有心理不平衡，矛盾，身体不舒服，他都会出来，暗示身体可能已出现的问题，核心價值、信念需要修正，或警惕錯誤的信念可能產生的後果。提醒我们要保持身心灵平衡。

一個人不論外界遇到什麼困難，只要可以回到內心的家，就

有平靜的心和智慧，力量去面對挑戰，走出自己，！

这是一个自我反省，自我疗愈，自我成长的过程，

愈抗拒虛偽，我就愈虛偽，接納虛偽，就會長出真誠。

愈抗拒恐懼，我就愈恐懼，接納恐懼，就會長出勇氣。

今天我们来学习學習自己的陰影，結合情緒和夢境的治療，更加明白，為什麼 C Jung （榮格）說：

陰影（shadow）是人的心靈中遺傳下來的最黑暗隱秘、最深層的邪惡傾向。它尋求向外部投射。但它的本性卻是生命力、自發性和創造性的源泉。

此时此刻，让我们带着一份谦卑、感恩的心，一份专注的心，一份同理心，一份温柔的爱到来陪伴自己，一起经历一次不一般的心灵之旅，OK， 请大家再做一次深呼吸，然后将双手放在头顶，和自己慢慢按摩，ok，一家，双手从头顶慢慢向下，抚摸自己的耳朵，颈部，然后自己的胸部，如何搓下双手，慢慢打开眼睛，well comeback。Totally Refreshed.

OK， 一加每个人都和所有朋友来一个 ＢＩＧ ＦＩＶＥ！大声叫YEAH！

Great，现在，请大家围一个圈，首先介绍自己的名字，分享下你当下的心情， 表达你会抱着什么心情和心态来参加这个课程？我來參加課程想幫助自己做些什麼？解決什麼？我想创造怎样的成果。怎樣才可以達成夢想？

20 8 2016

愛，從接納自己開始 ( 課程回顧和反思）shorter version

愛，從接納自己開始 ( 課程回顧和反思）
Subconscious Mind Power Training Course
潛意識力量訓練課程 20 21 August, 2016

又一個夢想的旅程，我相信，每個人都是自己最好的治療師，我的工作是一個分享者，啟動者，facilitator,如何可以讓每個人都在這個旅程中找到自己的價值，分享自己的人生經驗，酸甜苦辣，高高低低，得到啟迪，引以為戒，療愈自己，陪伴別人，支持別人，也幫到自己，強化自己，這是我一直在思考和不斷實踐的使命，一件充滿喜悅的旅程。

在Heung Jenny 老師，Elaine Tse和Clemen， Bessie， Dr Lam 的幫助下，大家不分新舊，高低，每個人反思自己的成長，互相支持，暢所欲言，擁抱陰影，走出陰影，看到更多可能性！

Elaine说出大家的心底话：

Donna的平台就像是一个家，我們的快樂屋，我們可以發無拘束的發白日夢，更可把心底話，一些不會與人提及事情，經歷，信念講出來，大家互相分享及支持。謝謝Donna, 使我們有如此美好的時光，結聚如此交心的朋友。

這次嘗試，我感到培訓課程，不是我來帶給別人甚麼，而是根據別人的情況，靈活變通，產生共鳴，找到真正自己的感覺。回到家的感覺。改變，從潛意識開始，舒服，自在的接納自己，接納別人。

If you think a course is sitting, listening, drop notes thinking...this course is eating, sharing, discussion, crying, laughing, plus singing with piano playing...

   24 8 2016

「愛，從接納自己開始」

                                                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7LnQBhlVfs

在我們的整個生命中，我們與許多的關係連結，例如與父母、伴侶、孩子、朋友、同事及其他人的關係。在關係裡，我們全部的情感都會展現出來，無論是正面的或負面的，快樂的或不快樂的情感，連結的關係都會反映出我們的內在，幫助我們覺知到自己。

我們總是認為自己在關係中的傷痛是別人造成的，尤其是當你覺得自己受到批判時。你一定遇過激怒你的人；你的傷痛確實在影響你，創造出你所有的情況。如果它已經成為你生命中的模式，如果你覺得有一個傷痛一而再、再而三的出現，那它肯定與其他人無關。無論你喜不喜歡，你的成功與失敗，特別是你的人際關係，都被你的過去所限定。

被我們刻意忽略或壓抑的傷痛，或者我們沒意識到的，但確實在內在影響著我們的傷痛，往往都會在關係中浮現。這就是為什麼關係是認識自己非常有效的工具。巴觀說：「生命是認識自己的探索。」要認識自己，你需要一面鏡子，關係就是你的鏡子。每一段你與別人的關係，都反映了你自己的某個面向，它要不是反映出你真正的樣子，就是反映出你有傷痛的面向，或你所憎恨的面向。

當你與親愛的人、伴侶、子女、父母、朋友或商業夥伴起了爭執時，你真正在對抗的是你自己的陰影，你將它投射在那個人身上。你有沒有注意到人們會批評朋友或工作場所的同事：「我討厭他這麼做，我討厭他做事的方式。」其實，我們真正討厭的是我們無意識陰影自我的那一面，也就是我們內在的創傷；這部分通常是被壓抑的，現在被激發了。每當按下這顆「按鈕」，我們的陰影部分就被刺激了；我們身邊的人反映了這點。通常我們不希望看見它。

你越是忽略創傷，你就越被它耗盡；因為它會一直纏擾著你，讓我們一直被思緒所占據。如果你可以將注意力放在創傷與痛苦上，傾聽它、經驗它，它就會消失了。舉例來說，你現在感到悲傷，覺知到悲傷的存在，接納它，允許自己去經驗那份悲傷。除非悲傷被認出來並且承認它，否則不會轉化與移動。

巴觀說：「當你面對自己的陰影自我，接納自己時，你內在的衝突就消失了。當衝突消失時，就會有能量。當有能量時，就會有喜悅。」消除持續的衝突是一項內在的工作，這是我們每個人都必須不斷在自己內在進行的。

摘自：「愛，從接納自己開始」

這篇文章談到忽略創傷，忘記陰影的結果是非常消耗性的！忘記創傷陰影的結果，只能是更加被陰影和創傷籠罩，活在過去，潛能發揮大受影響，就算事業有成，也沒有享受過過程，因為可能並不是自己想要的，只是活在別人的期望中！

同時提醒我們唯有寬恕原諒，才有出路！第一個要寬恕的，不是別人，而是自己。

http://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2016/07/a-video-it-makes-me-crythe-power-of.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDlE72w

WHITNEY HOUSTON LYRICS

"Greatest Love Of All"

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me

[Chorus:]
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

[Chorus]

And if, by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

24 8 2016

i messages

http://www.encouraging-appropriate-behaviour.com/free-stuff/how-to-use-i-messages.html

How to get your message across respectfully

We have all done it. Lost our cool in the heat of the moment and said something that we later regretted. The tool to overcome this is I-messages. It gets the message across about how you feel and what behaviour made you feel that way. All this without sounding like you are blaming them. I-messages are a simple way to communicate in any situation. But do not confuse simple with easy. It takes skill and practice.

New! The brief guide to I-messages post is now available.

I-messages

I-messages provide feedback safely, as they avoid putdowns, judgement or assigning blame. There are three types of information when providing effective feedback to someone about their behaviour. These are:

1. describing the behaviour,
2. the feeling the behaviour creates and
3. the effect that the behaviour has.

A description of the behaviour is necessary to inform the person what the problem is. This should always be included in the message otherwise they will not know what behaviour to change. Including either of the other two types (how it makes you feel and what the effect is) will normally be sufficient to communicate the problem effectively. 

An I-message states the behaviour and describes the speaker’s feelings (numbers 1 and 2 above). The speaker owns their feelings without coming across as judging the person. It promotes a willingness to exchange information, find a solution and to seek a constructive change in the situation. Rarely does this make matters worse. 

I-messages are delivered by saying: ‘I feel … (name the feeling) when … (describe the behaviour)’. For example, you might say, ‘I feel angry when I am expecting a ride home and am forgotten.’ 

Some other examples of I-messages are:

• I feel angry when people call me names.
• I feel hurt when no one asks what I want to do.
• I feel suspicious when someone tells me one thing, then I find out they are doing another.

Download this information about I-messages. (This document is released under a creative commons licence. See document for details.)

New! The brief guide to I-messages post is now available.

You-messages

In You-messages, the message contains either you or you’re in it. For example, ‘You make me so angry because you forgot to give me a ride home.’ Using You-messages blames the person for the situation and judges them. It can also hold others responsible for the feelings of the speaker as well as include putdowns. It causes feelings in the receiver that can make them defensive or start making excuses. All of this can make the situation worse.

The examples of the I-messages above have been turned into You-message to show this:

• I feel angry when you call me names.
• I feel hurt when you don’t ask what I want to do.
• I get suspicious when you’re telling me one thing then I find out you’re doing another.

Back to the top

I-messages and You-messages

An effective I-message does not contain a ‘you’ reference in it. It is common for those new to I-messages to use the form, I feel …(feeling) when you … (behaviour) such as ‘I feel upset when you ignore me.’ It could be classed as both an I-message and a You-message. However, the ‘you’ in the statement still blames the other person, making them less likely to cooperate. Therefore, the I feel … when you … message needs to be treated as a You-message and avoided. Everything said before the ‘you’ is generally ignored by the person receiving the message.

As soon as they hear the ‘you’, most people immediately concentrate on the personal attack that follows. It is similar to using ‘but’ in an argument. This is generally interpreted to mean that you may now disregard everything I have said prior to the ‘but’. For example, ‘I agree with you, but …’ is normally followed by listing all the reasons why you do not agree with them. 

Always avoid using the ‘you’ word when giving constructive feedback as it will be heard as a personal attack. Instead replace it with a generic term, like ‘people’, ‘someone’ or ‘anybody’. By using a generic term with an I-message, others are more likely to listen to your entire message and willingly change their behaviour. 

You will normally feel the same no matter who is using that specific behaviour. So you do not have to single them out. When you don’t accuse directly, it enables them to save face and their reaction to you is more open-minded and receptive. It provides an opportunity to start a conversation and work towards a solution.

It is worth noting that I-messages can be used negatively in order to try and manipulate someone. For example, ‘I feel worthless when we are not together’, or ‘I feel angry when people go off and talk to somebody else without me.’ This use is calculated to manipulate the other person into behaving in the manner the user wants. Like any tool it can be used for good and bad.

Download the PDF version about I-messages. (This document is released under a creative commons licence. See document for details.)

Back to the top

Alternative ways of delivering an I-message

The simplified version, I feel … when … is the best starting point when teaching or learning to use I-messages. It is less complex and gets the most important information out first - the behaviour and the feeling about the behaviour. 

A danger in using a template such as this is that it can become predictable or sound false and manufactured. This comes down to what the actual content is and how the message is delivered. To offset this there are a number of additional options.

Below are 20 additional variations to consider. They use the three types of information feelings, behaviour and effect in various combinations.

The basic I-message includes the feeling and the behaviour.

I feel… (feeling) when… (behaviour)

• I feel worried when it’s well after home time and there is no phone call or message.
• I feel angry when I get told off for things when others don’t.

Possible other words to replace feel are: get and become 

• I get concerned when I hear stories about the dangerous pranks that are played on people.
• I become frustrated and annoyed when people say they will do something for me and then they don’t.

Or you can reverse the order:

When… (behaviour) I feel… (feeling)

• When people talk about me as if I am not even there, I feel powerless and useless.
• When I am picked on by others, I feel this rage in my gut and just want to rip something to pieces.

Possible other words to replace when are: because, as, whenever, after, and due to.

• I feel hurt because no one asked me what I thought.
• I feel frightened because of all the yelling and pushing.
• I feel disappointed because this mess has not been cleaned up.
• I feel humiliated as shouting at me in front of others shows a lack of respect.
• I feel offended whenever someone uses racist language.
• I feel suspicious after finding out that people have not told me everything.
• I feel anxious due to the risks involved in riding a motorbike in the city.

Back to the top

The basic behaviour and effect messages

I want… (behaviour) because… (effect)

• I want everyone to stay away from the edge because they could fall and get seriously hurt.
• I want everybody to be on time because we need to have this finished tomorrow.

I need… (behaviour) because… (effect)

• I need everyone to turn up on time because we cannot serve our customers well without all our staff.

I expect… (behaviour) because… (effect)

• I expect everyone to treat each other with basic respect because that will make it enjoyable for everyone.

It was my understanding that… (behaviour) because… (effect)

• It was my understanding that everyone agreed not to use putdowns because it can make people feel angry or hurt.

The complex behaviour and effect message

I think… (behaviour + judgement) because… (effect)

• I think telling stories that are not true about someone is unfair because others will believe the stories and not like the person for the wrong reasons.

The complex feeling, behaviour and effect messages

I would… (feeling) it if … (behaviour) because…(effect)

• I would appreciate it if everyone would ring when they are late because then I can plan to have enough staff stay back and cover till they arrive.

I would… (feeling) it very much (or variation) if… (behaviour) because… (effect)

• I would like it much better if only one person at a time spoke because then we can all get to hear what each other has to say.

(behaviour and effect)… and then I feel … (feeling)

• Leaving the sports gear outside all the time means it gets ruined and then I feel angry about having to spend money to replace it.

The final option is to use a feeling and effect message. 

Just be aware that, when using this type of message, the actual behaviour that is causing the problem is not included in the message. Only its effect is, so you might need a follow-up message to outline the behaviour to change.

I feel… (feeling) because… (effect)

• I feel hurt because I didn’t get to make a choice.
• I feel frightened because the situation is dangerous.

Possible other words to replace because are: as and due to

• I feel sad as it hurt my feelings.
• I feel horrified due to the animals being left to go hungry.